pregnancy

My Story #7- Lennox Birth ‘Inner Lion’

My Story #7- Lennox Birth ‘Inner Lion’

, , , , ,

WARNING: There is an image in this post of me giving birth to Lennox

NOTE: if you are a mother and have been through a birth or are soon to be. Please be aware that everyone’s story and situation is different. No mother is the same. No baby is the same. But whatever your story is, love it for what it was meant/going to be. If there is anything I want you to take from my experience it’s this… Connect to your body and baby through out your pregnancy. Breathe. Connect. Breathe. Know your body and trust it!…

Never have I felt so grounded and connected to my physical and inner body.

Waking up Saturday morning I had slight period pains… now I never get these pains even during pregnancy so I knew I was in early stages of labour. And I was super excited. After 9 longs days being overdue and the pubic pain and discomfort I was so ready for this labour… I wanted to meet our Booboo. Kyle was at work so it was just me and Maeve at home. She actually slept in that morning and I had the urge to bake something… so I did. Once Maeve woke I just wanted to be with her. There is this deep emotion you go through with a second Bub where you don’t want to leave your first child’s side. The Guilt kicks in already knowing she will soon be looked after by someone else while I’m in hospital. You know you’re going to be so busy with a new born, that it breaks you a little inside to know that they will have to adjust to this and learn to share my attention and time and grow up even quicker. I was actually saddened when Kyle’s dad came to pick Maeve up. I said a quick goodbye before I got too emotional. There was no time for guilt or becoming an emotional mess. Maeve was safe and happy. It was time now for me to just connect and focus my energies on my labour ahead. I needed to be fully connected to my body and baby.

Just before Kyle got home my waters started to break… things progressed quickly. I wasn’t ready to go to the hospital yet but as things happened so quickly with my last pregnancy Kyle thought it was best. Kyle is the kind of guy who likes to do things right. And he gets anxiety. So for me the important thing was I needed him to feel relaxed and at ease… I needed him for what lay ahead. So I went along with what made him feel comfortable. I had the pleasure of sharing my entire pregnancy with a student mid-wife. Lara was amazing and came to all my appointments and gave great help and advice. So before we left home I called her as she was excited as I was to be there for my labour. In the car ride I still just had some cramps come and go. Waters kept breaking… luckily I chose to wear a dress and had a towel under my bum on the seat. The car ride was quick and casual. I sat in the passengers seat, we listened to music and reminisced about our labour day with Maeve (still one of the best days of my life).

Lara was already there when we got to the hospital. She had the best room available ready and waiting for us. I knew that with this birth I wanted to get my room and environment set up before any type of monitoring. I did not have this with Maeve but it was important for me mentally to do this first. So Kyle, Lara and I set up the room with diffuser and essential oils (lavender and easy air). Kyle put on the music (that I had already pre-planned). I got myself in some comfortable clothing. Lara made sure I had water and all the extra bits needed for the labour ahead. Kyle also called the lady who was to pick up my placenta as this time my naturopath recommended I do placenta encapsulation. I went to the bathroom and just sat down and just took in a few long deep breaths… This was it! I remember telling myself…’I know my body more than anyone. Listen to it. Work with your baby. Go with the flow. Enjoy the experience.’

Now laying on the bed my midwife, Marnie, came in to monitor me. I was all strapped up to the monitors to check my heart rate, babies heart rate and contractions etc… I had issues in my last pregnancy and labour so it was a must to be monitored again. But I knew this time I was so much more relaxed and in control that all would be fine. The monitor wasn’t showing too much and my heart rate levels kept spiking up and down. No contractions were showing. Funny thing is as I lie there my contraction very quickly got more intense and closer together. I tell the midwife this and we manually monitor it. Just laying on the bed for over 10-15minutes was stressing me out. I just wanted to get up and get on with it. My body was telling me to get up. I tell my midwife this and she agrees but has to check with the senior midwife first due to my apparent increase in heart rate. They decide to unstrap the monitors on me and re-do i all. Aarrrgh! After another few minutes of monitoring it is clear that my contractions are now very close together and heart rates are normal enough. The relief I had when they pulled those monitors off me and said I could now stand up. I knew that as soon as I stood up it would be on! And right I was. I was already at the later stages of stage 2. Contractions were definitely happening now. We’d been at the hospital for about 30minutes now. During this time my sister-in-law and my birth photographer arrived. For those of you who don’t know Tara, she is a mother of 4, with the kindest heart, a nurturer, so grounded (she’s like the mother goddess) and could make any situation feel at ease. After our last birth we did not get nay photos (we were so lost in the moment-which is a great thing), but I knew this time I wanted to capture my birth. As my labour got more intense I only noticed Tara being in the room once. Apparently she just stayed in a corner capturing our moments and gave me a few back massages. Funny thing was leading up to my birth I was a little worried about having extra being in my birthing room (photographer and student midwife, plus midwife and Kyle). I had told them I was not sure how I would feel about them being there, like maybe too many people would take me out of my internal space. But it did not bother me once. Even though they all did so much for me, I hardly realised they were there. I stayed within…

So anyways… Once the contractions got more intense I got that urge to go to the toilet. I know they say that birthing is like needing to do a poo. But I really needed to go. It’s a weird sensation going to the toilet and having contractions at the same time. I did go to the toilet. It felt like baby was pushing down strong against my bowels and bladder. I felt like I could have given birth to our baby on that toilet (haha). So when I stood up off the toilet I felt like I was ready to push this baby out. Shit could it really happen that quickly. It had only been just over 1 hour. Things were getting too intense too quickly. I got out of the toilet and the midwife could also tell things were progressing quickly. She asked me the usual questions including how would I like to give birth… what positions. I knew there was no time for baths or showers. I felt like I just needed to ground myself, bare down and start ‘breathing this baby out’. It was powerful. So my midwives rearranged the bed, got knee pads ready, blankets, towels… and I’m not sure what else but a minute it felt like everything was there ready for me. The next hour I bared down with all I had. I alternated between kneeling and deep squatting (very thankful for all my yoga and exercise and knowledge to do this so comfortably and confidently). I was massaged. Given water. A wet rag around my neck. And as embarrassing as it is with the baby pushing against my bladder and bowels I apparently did a few poo’s and they were cleaned up quickly. WOW yes i just told everyone that (haha). Hey it’s normal. But come on, he ended up a massive baby, no wonders.  I remember being annoyed by my hair touching my neck and within seconds it was tied up. I remember a song by ENYA came on, and I usually Love ENYA, but I hated it in that moment. I yelled for someone to please change that song. Once again it was changed within seconds. During the next hour I have never felt and connected to my body as much as I did. It was intense to say the least.

The best person in the room, by far, was Kyle. He is my everything in labour. For an anxious guy he is in total cool and calm during a birth. Whilst I squatting and kneeling, he sat there in front of me. Breathing with me, massaging me, encouraging me, motivating me, and helping me to bare down deep, breath deep from my heart and belly and push. I seriously felt like a LION. During a contraction I would breathe in, hold, bare down and connect so deep within and with all my strength, power and heart try to push. Stage 3 took me about 45minutes (it felt like hours as it was so painful). It was so challenging and frustrating. Knowing the baby was so close to come out but seeming like bub just wouldn’t. And with Maeve stage 3 only took like 15minutes so it was starting to get to me. But I had amazing encouragement and support from Kyle and my midwifes. They kept reassuring me that they could see bubs head, that everything was ok, that I was doing an amazing job. They would keep explaining how they wanted me to breath and what to do with each contraction. I trusted them. All of them. Together with their guidance and encouragement and my strength and power this baby was going to come out real soon. Another contraction and I used everything I had to get bubs head out. I felt like I was tearing right open. This was always one of my fears. I got scared. Kyle saw it and quickly calmed me.

The next part almost felt like a blur to me and it all happened so quickly. They could see that bub had the cord stuck around his neck and that he’s shoulder was getting stuck behind my pubic bone. Within seconds another midwife was there. Within another few seconds the senior midwife was there doing a maneuver called ‘shoulder dystocia’. It was so lucky that I was in a kneeling position and my student midwife also quickly lifting one of my legs to the side. During this time Kyle kept his cool and I was just looking at him and not the craziness that was going on behind us. Bub was quickly taken out and put on the trolley bed. No cry. No breath… it was then that I knew something was going on (OMG I am almost in tears writing this). But at the time I was so in the zone and felt so connected to me and my baby that I knew it would be ok. I am one of those people who always sees the best in situations so I just lay there back on the bed and just waited to hear a cry. Almost 2 minutes and we hear a big, loud, strong cry. The relief. They check him over and he is given to us as quickly as possible. Bonding is a very important part of the labour (it should be known as stage 4 labour). He didnt stop crying. I didn’t care. I just held and cuddled him. As did Kyle. The love was intense. Our hearts just grew bigger. My soul and spirit just grew bigger, but so tired at the same time. What an experience. I was so glad it was over and Lennox was with us. I remember feeling like a massive burger and a huge glass of cold water I did get it a few hours later (Thanks mum). I spent the next hour just holding my little man. trying to feed him and settle him. I just wanted him to know that he did an amazing job with me and the stress was over. He was safe. He was loved… oh my boy by so many people you will be loved…

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: A massive Thank you to the midwifes at Tweed Maternity Hospital for all your guidance, expertise and care. The midwives there throughout my labour were amazing support and I could not be more Thankful for their expertise and efficiency in delivery Lennox safely to us that day.

There is so much more I can say about this labour and the after events but I feel I have said enough for now. I’m going to finish up this post with a feeling THANKFULNESS, of PURE HAPPINESS and LOVE!

In Health & Happiness

Tenille Samuelson

My Story #6 ‘Let’s go again’

My Story #6 ‘Let’s go again’

, , , , , ,

It’s funny how once you have a baby people are automatically asking you when and if you’re going to have another child. I mean I always hoped to have 2-3 children but no way was I going to consider it until Maeve was at least 1. I was enjoying every minute of her plus juggling a business. Then your child turns one and everyone is just waiting till that moment you say you are pregnant again. Maeve was about 1 year and 6 months when we decided to try again. After my journey with trying to fall pregnant with Maeve I knew exactly what I needed to do… everything that I did the first time. I learnt so much the first time round and since I had such a great pregnancy I was willing to do everything possible to have another great pregnancy. That was always my fear. Everything was so easy and enjoyable the first time I was afraid it may be different the second time. So about 3 months before trying to fall pregnant I did regular acupuncture, cleaned up my diet, increased my vitamins, stopped running and did more yoga and restorative exercises.

We decided not to try seriously but were just not safe and would see what happened… and BAM… a month later we were pregnant. First thought was awesome, so excited and so ready! Second thought was shit… We had just booked a trip to Japan and weren’t going to try seriously until we were over there or got back! “I Hope I travel ok pregnant and feel devastated I can’t have sashimi and enjoy a few drinks with hubby while away”! So the second month of my pregnancy we hit Japan for almost 2 weeks… I travel fine, no sickness… phew… no Japan food belly… phew… have more than enough energy… felt tired a few times by luckily Maeve was still having a day sleep so got a few naps in. I even managed to do a 40 minute walk up a mountain with Maeve on my shoulders! So all besides one vomit on a car ride from the airport… (whoops i forgot that when I’m pregnant I can’t sit in the back seat as it makes me sick)… Japan was a success and Maeve traveled like a champ!

By the time we got back everyone was asking me if we were expecting again… we were about 9-10 weeks in (I always like to wait until 12 weeks as you never know) but I just did the whole ‘oh I ate and drunk too much in japan!

Second time around we were just as excited… we were ready for another Bub and had made the changes in our lives for it… bought a house, downsized my business to a home studio and felt Maeve was at a decent age. The third month of my pregnancy I did a yoga course in women’s health! I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do with it but I felt a strong energy to wanting to do it. I knew I needed to do something different in my career, as with 2 kids I wouldn’t be able to teach the hours I was. I also wanted to expand my knowledge in women’s health and yoga! Though out my whole pregnancy, creativity flourished deep inside. I felt so inspired after my course and very in touch with my creative side. It was for this particular reason that I thought we were having another girl…? I decided just to ride this wave of inspiration and creativity… So throughout my pregnancy I achieved a lot. I completed a yoga course. A wrote a book on ‘Preparing for Fertility Naturally’. And I started a new business ‘A Woman’s Wellness’. Ok, so I felt inspired, motivated and creative but there were many times along the way I thought ‘what am I doing to myself?’ Why do I always put more work load on myself when I should be slowing down. But in my head I knew that if I did it now then once Bub came along it would make things easier. Plus, its like it just all came about naturally. I was listening to my emotions, authenticity, and heart!

However, I must say, that even though I once again had a sick-free and enjoyable pregnancy it wasn’t as magical as the first time, when I had so much time to just look after me and my growing baby. With a toddler about, hubby away a lot and me still working, I didn’t get to enjoy a lot of the things I did the first time with Maeve… like pregnancy yoga classes every week, walks nearly every day, interaction with other pregnant mums… it made me wonder and worry a little with how it would affect my baby. Will this Bub be as relaxed and content as Maeve was as a Bub? I did try to do my own yoga and Pilates practice at home (most the time with Maeve at my side), a restorative posture a few days through the week and I also got in to essential oils which helped immensely with sleep and relaxation.

There were two things I did do differently with my second pregnancy was see a naturopath and placenta encapsulation. And my reason being. After I finished breastfeeding Maeve I was depleted in everything, especially Iron. I knew that this would be even more likely with second bub as I was busier with another kid and I was told I was having a much bigger baby. So I was willing to try anything to keep my health at optimum level so that I could grow a healthy baby and have the energy to breastfeed a big baby and be there for 2 children.

The hardest part of my whole pregnancy was the last 9 days… With Maeve I was 5 days early… This pregnancy I was 9 days over-due. I know it was teaching me patience and to slow down and connect internally. But it was long, hard and painful. Yes painful. My pubic bone ached and this baby was so strong it hurt when he kicked me. And he was so big there was no room in my insides. I could feel him in every direction, ribs, organs, pubic bone, back, stomach (and the heartburn). Whilst I grew more uncomfortable each day I also took each day to slow down more and connect to my baby through meditation, nature, and massage (including perineum massage). I highly recommend perineum massage, especially as I knew I was going to have a bigger baby. So I know it’s a private and personal thing but I feel I need to talk about perineum massage for a moment. Don’t be afraid to do it. It is a natural process in pregnancy and is great to prepare you for labour. It helps you to tap in to your feminine and sexual side. And it gives you greater awareness and connection to what your body can do and is capable of in labour. And whilst I prefer to do it myself I know others swear by getting their partners to do it. It’s great bonding for you and your support partner.

So… back to my story… It was a Friday night and I was already 8 days overdue. I felt different on this day. Like things were slowing down and I felt really connected to how I was feeling and what my body really wanted. I did a meditation, I had a bath, I did my perineum massage with more intention then usual and I went to bed early. I was certain that tomorrow would be the day…

I look forward to sharing my birthing story with you next week. It was fast, intense, painful, scary, heart-stopping, but ended with pure joy as our hearts grew even bigger!

In Health & Happiness

Tenille

 

My Story #5 ‘Your baby feeds off your energy’

My Story #5 ‘Your baby feeds off your energy’

, , , , ,

Here is our petite little girl Maeve at 3 days old… weighing in at 6.2 ounds (how lucky I was to give birth to a gorgeous little thing the first time round).

As a first time mum there are many things to learn, breastfeeding, changing nappies, bathing a new born, swaddling, burping, what I should/ not eat, how my recovery should be.. OMG and the list goes on and this is all within the first few days! But my biggest and most important lesson I learned as a mother was how the energy from me and my husband could affect my daughter so much. For example, Maeve’s first few days in the world were pretty cruisey and relaxed. I didn’t have too much trouble with breastfeeding and she slept like a champ. Kyle and I were pretty relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed our first few days with Maeve at John Flynn hospital seeing family and friends and playing cards between feeds. However, when we were getting ready for our journey home we had our first stressful moment with the car seat (apparently this is a very common one for first time parents) and we had a little argument about it. Maeve was just lying on the bed while we tried to sort out the situation. Well for the first time we saw our little relaxed baby girl crying endlessly for no particular reason. It was then that I realised she was feeding off Kyle and my energy of being stressed out and upset over the car seat. Lesson… ‘If you can be a calm, relaxed and nurturing mother, then your baby will more likely be happy and content. Energy feeds Energy’

My fondest memories of Maeve as a baby were our long walks in the pram along the creek, seeing Kyle become the amazing dad he always wanted to be and having my bestest friends close by for beach dates, walks and long chats. And like any new journey in life there were the challenges… for me it was juggling a busy business with a newborn and learning how to just let go of my commitments to my work and clients and just be a mum. Also I had to learn that it’s ok if the day doesn’t go as planned. You can be organised but not over organised with a baby as you never know what the day might bring. And 2 outings/activities a day is more than enough… before children I loved that I could fit in 2-5 outings/activities in one day. I had to learn to say NO to a lot of things… but not everything!

So I thought as part of this blog I would get a mother-to-be to ask me a few questions about labour and becoming a mother… I loved doing this as it brought back thoughts and feelings I had forgotten. And it made me realise how much I learned throughout my pregnancy and in becoming a mother and how passionate I am about pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

So what does a first time mum really want and need to know…?

How long after you had bub were you back into work? I noticed you got back into work quite soon after babe arrived. What were your reasons?

Yes with both kids I went back to work fairly early and that was for a few reasons…

I don’t think I ever truly switch off from work… with Maeve I worked up to a week before and with Lennox 3 weeks before he came. Second time around I wanted to spend as much time with Maeve as possible before Lennox came along.

With Maeve I had a full running business so I was back dealing with business duties a few days after Maeve was born but it was literally just an hour a day. It’s different when its your own business and in our industry (as you know) your clients want you and even though I had great instructors I didn’t have the money to pay staff to do all the extra admin and business management duties. I went back teaching when she was 5 weeks and just started with a few classes/ private sessions and then slowly built up classes each month as Maeve got older. I was back part time teaching (about 20 hours a week) when Maeve was 10-11 months.

When we decided to have another bub, Kyle and I thought it was best to sell up my business and start something smaller from home. I knew that having two would be much more challenging and we couldn’t afford to rent a space for a studio as well as have a house and me need more time off work once bub 2 arrived. I went back teaching just 3 sessions a week when Lennox was 3 weeks old. I had clients who were happy to work around feeds etc… Lennox is now 5 months and I’m teaching about 8 hours a week and then do about 2-3 hours of office duties etc (but I just do these around the kids sleeping times- mainly at night).

While money was a big factor for going back to work early (as being self-employed you don’t get very good maternity benefits). I also liked that Kyle got time with the kids on his own. Without me around telling him what to do and how to do it. He worked it out on his own, in the way he wanted to. He now has a great bond with our kids and I’ll be forever thankful for that.

Did anything surprise you about yourself once you had your first? I can feel parts of myself falling away all over the place and every step i take, every single day feels like a new one. I feel quite a dramatic change coming and even though I’m fully embracing it and it excites me, there is an element of unknown when it comes to what my life will look like, especially from a business perspective.

I feel like there is so much I can answer here… I deeply believe this is a process every mother needs to go through to embrace motherhood. It is so great that you are in tune with your feelings and body as you are listening to what it has to tell you so well. So many ladies do not tap in to this and it is best done through stillness, meditation, mindfulness. The feeling of change and the unknown is preparing you for what motherhood feels like on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. You can be planned and organise but at the end of the day you do not really know what your labour will be like, what your baby will be like, what day your baby will be having, how much they may want to or not feed, how much sleep they will want to have… life with a child is a process of forever change and the unknown. But know this. You are connecting with you baby now through your pregnacy. You will have a deep bond with your child and because of it they will be so much more happy and content and you will both be able to read your babies signs more easily.

In regards to anything surprising me about myself after my first child…?… I was always great with kids but was very unsure about my connection with babies. But once Maeve was born everything came naturally and fairly easily. Once again, I think through my connection with Maeve throughout my pregnancy gave us a stronger connection once she was born. And we are so alike. Its just about listening and accepting what is… is!

And from a business perspective, for me personally, I love to work, I love my job, I love being around people, I love helping, inspiring and motivating others. I always knew that I would get back to my business. I was a little worried that I would not enjoy it as much. But I did with Maeve and I still do now with Lennox. I do have the constant battle of wanting to be a full-time, fully involved mother and run a business. But that’s just me and my personality- trying to give 100% to too many things at once. Luckily my mind and body can run that way. Also, lucky for me I have great support and even though I do work, the time I am with the kids is fully embraced and full of so much love! Plus I like that I contribute to my family and our kids will grow up knowing that both parents equally worked and spent quality time with them.

When I found out you had naturally birthed a 9.5 pound baby with no tearing, I was inspired! It gave me more confidence in my own ability. What the key factors you felt helped with this?

Surrender, surrender, surrender! To the whole process of pregnancy, birth, motherhood, your body and change. I look at things as ‘it is what it is and don’t complain just do what you have to do in the best way you can, with what you have’. This for me helps over come fear, negativity, struggle, complaining and allows me to let my mind and body feel relaxed, centered and open. Plus physical preparation is important… both my pregnancies I stayed strong and open, but in a safe way. I tried not to do too much abdominal exercises or extension. I did my pelvic floor exercises. I did lots of Yoga to counter balance all my strength work. I massaged my perineum. I did my supported restorative Yoga postures. I did lots of squatting, walking and got in the water. I also took my raspberry leave tea and had it in a herbal blend from my naturopath. Plus I did acupuncture and chiropractor monthly to support my body both physically, structurally, emotionally and mentally. I knew I was having a big baby, not as big as 9.5 pounds but I did go in to my labour with the attitude just do your best. I stayed within. I breathed. I stayed within. I listened to my body. I had no exceptions on myself but just trusted my body. It was quick but it was fucking hard and painful work but I trusted my body and the support of my partner and midwives.

To all you mummy’s out there remember this…

‘You are enough. You are doing an amazing job. Your job is challenging, but it is even more rewarding. No one will ever love you as much you your child does.’

Sending all my deepest love to all you amazing mums out there!

In Health & Happiness

Tenille

My Story #4- Birth Story continued… Stay within, breath, squat, repeat…

My Story #4- Birth Story continued… Stay within, breath, squat, repeat…

, , ,

Ending my story from last week…

Driving back to the hospital all I could think of was ‘shit what lies ahead of me?’ But I knew I was ready, I felt in control. After my day in the sunshine and water and eating my yummy food and spending time with my best friend and husband I felt a great powerful and uplifting energy… I knew this would get me through the pain… but still the unsure was evident… How far dilated was I? Will I feel comfortable at the hospital and in my room? Will my labour be quick or long? Will I get in the bath or shower? Will I end up with a cesarean? Whatever lay ahead I felt confident in my body and what it could do….

So we make it back to the hospital and all I can remember is wanting to get this disgusting full maternity pad off and the clinical atmosphere compared to our scenic, relaxing and fresh smelling beach walk. But I try to get over it quickly. This is the place we chose to birth, a place we feel safe and comfortable. I go in for another check up and everything is progressing well. However, I unfortunately have to take antibiotics due to my waters slowly breaking over 15 hours. A little bummed as I rarely ever take drugs so wonder later how it will affect me… hopefully it doesn’t make me throw up. I also find out I can’t have a water birth due to likely infection. Bummed again as pictured a water birth… not starting off so well at the hospital after my day of bliss.

A contraction hits me much stronger and I realise i need to start connecting to my breath and go within. Just breathing made me think a little clearer. I automatically think how thankful I am for all my acupuncture and yoga throughout my pregnancy. I am going to use this knowledge in my birth ahead. Breathing calms me. My husband sitting next to me, looking so casual and calm, relaxes me. I realise from now that I am in control of my birth ahead. I can do this. Just breathe. Stay within. Don’t over think things. Stay light hearted…. we get in to our birthing suite. Whilst Kyle sets up the music, bags and room layout. I head straight for the exercise ball and do what feels natural to me… Hip circles… it makes me feel at home and safe. Kyle turns on the television… we have a good laugh when we see it’s the friends episode where Rachel gives birth to a baby girl… haha! I’m pretty sure in this episode Rachel has a really long labour. I hope mine is not. But I am pretty confident it wont be (and luckily it was pretty quick). Here’s a pic of me on the exercise ball getting super pumped for the labour ahead.

My contractions slowly get more intense and I start to walk the room and get myself more comfortable. Hair up, clothes off… just underwear and a singlet feels best to me. I’m not one to flaunt everything in front of people I don’t know. My widwife is a lady named Robyn.. who is an identical twin sister of a long term client of mine. This also makes me feel safe and comfortable. And she seems totally chilled and just pops in every now and again to check on things but doesn’t crowd us, gives us the space we like. Due to my high blood pressure (even though I feel normal and totally fine) and baby’s slight increase in heart rate, I have to wear electronic sensors, taped on me, for the whole labour. They are so annoying. As my contractions get more intense I start squatting from the bed. Kyle massaging my lower back between contractions. I thank my restorative yoga instructor for this tip. I get that urge to go to the toilet. I do but just a wee. I stand up and it’s on…

I don’t know how others feel but I felt scared going to the toilet during birth… You hear all sorts of stories like… giving birth to a baby whilst going to the toilet, pooing during the final stages of the delivery, that birthing a baby just makes you feel like you need to do a poo even if you don’t really need to. I was also a little worried that going to the toilet would take me out of my zone. I was so focused and within. But then I figured my body is telling me to go to the toilet, so just do it. My main aim in this birth process was to stay within as much as possible. To listen intuitively to my body and just breathe. Not once did I think or want any drugs. It just didn’t enter my head. After my wee I stood up and it was on. This baby was ready to join us and I felt ready to help this baby out. I was starting to feel a little exhausted at this stage but I felt comfortable leaning over the bed and  standing and squatting during the contractions so decided this was where I would give birth. It was between this time and just before my final stage in birthing our baby that my memory blanked out… I was told the next day that during this time I was squatting really low- like nearly doing the splits. And between contractions I would literally just sleep (or more like pass out) and rest on Kyle. Looking back on it I think that was very smart of my body… taking a rest before the next surge so I had all my energy. I also remember feeling raging hot one second and then shivering cold the next.

I was then told that I would have to complete stage 3 of delivering the baby whilst laying on the bed. This shocked and scared me. As the one other time they had me on my back it hurt my back and took me out of my inner bubble. Plus I knew my body could deliver standing up and squatting. But due to the heart beats having to be monitored (due to my high blood pressure) I had to lie down. The monitors were slipping off during the deep squats and this could cause alarm if something was to go wrong and they wouldn’t know. The midwife called my obstetrician to come straight in and he was there in like 10 minutes and he stayed until bub was born and all was clear (total 15 minutes- he had the easy job I tell you).  It would have taken 15-20minnutes for the midwife and Kyle to convince me that I had to lie on the bed. If they had of just let me I think I would have birthed baby within that time standing up. And had it been my second bub I would have. But first time around, I’m feeling unsure, not confident enough to speak up and just trust everything that’s being told to me. Finally, I am now on the bed… and I make sure the bed was as upright as I could have it. As I truly believe that being upright is the best position to give birth. Lying on your back just goes against gravity and can slow things down. I did not want this to happen.

So I’m all set up… One foot pushing against my midwife and one foot pushing against Kyle. It’s one of those moments when your mind flashes to a documentary or show you’ve watched, like ‘baby born every minute’, and you think OMG I look like them right now. Everything just out there for them to see. OMG my husband is seeing me from a different perspective… what is he thinking? So I am set up and my doctor tells me… “on your next contraction I want you to take a deep breath in and then hold your breath and push. Make it come from deep within your body.” A contraction comes and I think I do what he tells me but I scream as well… I don’t think that’s right. No it’s not because then my doctor tells me “Tenille if you keep screaming like that baby will take longer to come out and you will just have a sore throat tomorrow.” He explains again what to do. And I say and I remember so clearly, “what do you mean hold my breath…? I’m not use to holding my breath…? That’s not what I’ve practiced to do…?” My self thought is…Seriously Tenille don’t overthink and analyse the situation and just do as the doctor says. I remember repeating in my head ‘breath in. hold. push from deep within’… I nail the next 3 contractions and baby is born. Did it hurt? I seriously just remember a little sting. besides trying to work out the breath this stage for me was fairly easy. Luckily bub was tiny and It’s like she just slid out… as did my placenta only a few minutes later (however stay tuned for my next birth. Totally different experience. I was on fire down there).

Kyle looks and I ask what is it? I loved not knowing what we were having. For me it was more about setting myself a challenge to last the whole pregnancy not finding out. I am usually a real control freak that has to have everything known and organised. But I figured when you become a mother you have to let go of that so I’ll start in my pregnancy. Anyhow… Kyle looks at the baby and just mistakes part of the umbilical cord as the penis… I think it’s a BOY he says… our doctor laughs… look again! Our baby, growing for 9 months, with us developing all that time is a petite, perfect little girl. Kyle cut her umbilical cord and then I got to hold her straight away. I personally think there are 4 stages in pregnancy. The 4th stage being the bonding between mum and bub. It is so important for both of you. She enters the world crying but is settled very quickly once in my arms and comforted. In that moment I have never felt so much love, intense love for somebody. For my baby girl and my partner. there is no better way to bond and grow a relationship then to share a birth with somebody. Kyle was the best support partner. He is usually quite an anxious person but did not feel any nerves from him the whole labour. We were the best team. And our strong team become a magical team of 3.

Maeve Maree Samuelson… Our little pocket rocket. From the day you were born your beauty stunned us. You have so much love for everyone and everything. And those blue blue eyes… what a gift to be born with! Now at 2 (nearly 3) years old you are a strong (stubborn), passionate, loving, cheeky, clever little girl. I know you will do great things. You are born to SHINE!

I leave this story filled with so much Love and Joy!

Tenille Samuelson

My Story #2 – Pregnant and Loving it!

My Story #2 – Pregnant and Loving it!

, , , , , , , ,

I remember while trying for a while to fall pregnant with our first I meditated one night and said to myself… ‘I am ready, my body is ready… whatever I have to go through to get pregnant and be pregnant I can take it…’ I was thinking please bring on morning sickness and anything else I need to just be pregnant… never did I realise that everything I was doing months before actually falling pregnant was the critical steps I needed to not only fall pregnant but have the most enjoyable and easy pregnancy experience. Seriously, I loved every part of my pregnancy… I felt I was in total control, there was nothing I couldn’t do. My whole pregnancy I felt excited, happy, creative, positive, confident, in control and totally blessed. I know many of you will be reading this and thinking… seriously? How unfair? How’d she do it…? I truly and deeply feel that it all comes down to your Preparations before pregnancy. Before falling pregnant my body was at its healthiest, fittest and happiest, physically and mentally. The acupuncture, restorative yoga, meditations, beach walks, healthy food and juice cleanses all paid off in more ways then I could imagine. In the end it was a blessing to have had trouble falling pregnant as my journey actually prepared my body the way it needed to.

I’m having to really thinking back now to my 1st pregnancy in 2014, but there’s a few stories and experiences I remember… The first feeling I remember was how proud and overwhelmed I felt to tell all our family and friends that we were expecting. Some of our friends and family knew we had be trying for a while so the excitement was felt and shared by everyone. The most special moment was from my niece, Ayva, who when found out told me. ‘I’m so happy Auntie Neilly. I know you’ll be the best mum because you are the best Auntie.’ It was being an Auntie that I knew I wanted and would have children of my own one day.

Its funny with your first pregnancy how you think you need to read up on all the books, eat all the right foods, do the correct exercise, and get yourself and home as baby ready as possible. You know what I think… this is such a load of BS! If it’s something you really want to do and it will keep you more relaxed then do it. However, I gained more knowledge through yoga, meditation, midwives, other mums and just listening to what my body really wanted and needed. I truly believe you will know and listen to your body the best when you’re pregnant. So just trust the process. One of the best things I did through my pregnancy was yoga with instructors who specialised in pregnancy. Whilst this helped to keep my body in the best shape for pregnancy and support my ever changing body. It also prepared me for labour, and prepared my baby for the world and our connection together. It really is a powerful practice when pregnant. I remember doing a yoga session with my dear friend, Candice, who was also pregnant and we had to practice the ‘Lion labour breath’… I would say we are both quite tame and private people so this was hard for us to breath loud, deep and find your inner lion… but hey I’m glad I learned it as I ended up using it in my labour and now teach it to my clients.

While writing this blog I’m trying so hard to remember how i felt emotionally and if at any stage I felt low… seriously I can not think of one. I’m sure there were times of feeling low but it just goes to show that ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’, as it’s not those things you’ll remember when you look back on life. You’ll reminder the highlights, the times you felt at your best and the memories that made you most happy. Yes I could complain about the weight gain, never being able to decide what I wanted to eat at dinner time, not having one drink or eating raw fish the whole pregnancy and working out how we were going to get by on one wage. But you know what I never really worried about these things. I just accepted that this was what being pregnant was all about. Everyone goes through the same stuff. It’s part of the journey. It’s not something to stress over but just accept the process and be grateful to be pregnant. I guess looking back on my first pregnancy the hardest thing was knowing I’d be stepping away from my business and having to put the plans and training in place to have others fill in for me. Plus working out how I could still run my business without it costing me. The one unfortunate thing about being in small business is, if you’re not working in it or on it then you’re not making money- or very much money and government support is slim to none. But once again, get over it and just accept it is what it is. Money is always something that has frustrated me in life… I think it triggers from my childhood… but I just keep reminding myself that money isn’t everything and family, love and mother nature will fulfill our lives with more.

So here is are my 5 pieces of advice when pregnant, especially with your first.

  1. Have lots of dates with your partner and girl friends
  2. Do you exercises- Pilates, yoga, walking, squatting, pelvic floor, perineum massage.
  3. Discover meditation and mindfulness and get to know and listen to your body
  4. Breath, Breath and more breathing…
  5. Try to overcome or just become aware of any fears or stresses before your labour. This will help you to be aware and completely surrender your body for a natural birth and provide an environment that more relaxing once bub comes along.

If you are interested I do run Pregnancy and Birthing Workshops. Check my Events page for my next Workshop date and details.

In Health and Happiness,

Tenille x

 

My Story #1- Fertility Journey- Self Nurture

My Story #1- Fertility Journey- Self Nurture

, , , , ,

My fertility journey was my biggest life lesson so far… it taught me self nurture, that working 10-12 hour days is ridiculous, that it’s ok to ask for help, that just because I can run, lift heavy weights and have strong abs I’m fit… I had a lot to learn here… Restorative yoga is a form of exercise my friends. And lastly just because my partner and I were young and fit and eager as hell to be parents, that doesn’t entitle us to an easy pregnancy… fertility goes deeper than that as stress, fear, rest, diet and hormonal balance are also major factors to conceiving successfully… everyone’s fertility story is different. Some fall pregnant straight away while others take years… our journey to pregnancy took us 1 year and 6 months. I know for many of you your journey has been much longer and I hope my story may help you in some way.

My husband was ready long before me to have kids. While I always wanted them, and knew one day Kyle and I would raise a family I knew I wasn’t ready. I already had too many commitments with my business and wanted to do more travel. A few months after our trip back from Europe (after experiencing an extremely stressful situation in business and real estate) I knew I was ready for a change and maybe it was time to focus on something other than my business… children! Children really do change your life, so I guess there’s never a right time to want kids or fall pregnant. But no one or nothing can actually tell or show you how life changing it is. Kyle and I were confident we’d make great parents. We’d been blessed with many nieces and nephews and were very much involved in their lives and had great parent models who taught us so much about parenting.

It’s such an awkward, beautiful, uncertain and exciting moment when you make love for the first time with your partner to try conceive a baby! It becomes a lot of fun after the first few times… so we went to our GP and got all the needed tests to make sure everything was good and on working order! We got the 100%, go for it! A few months in and after a few friends falling pregnant straight away we began to worry a little but just did a little research and were a little more precise about making love around my ovulation time. But unfortunately that still didnt work for us. Truth was, it got to that point about 6 months in when others we knew were falling pregnant and felt like there was babies all around us that one night I completely broke down and did the whole ‘why us?’, ‘what are we doing wrong?’. The uncontrollable really got on top of me. I’m that type of person that when I really want something I’ll do all I can to make it happen. But this was one of those things that don’t always have answers, something you can’t necessarily have control of. It will happen when it’s meant to happen. Then one day when someone asked me… ‘Tenille can you see yourself with children?’ I answered, ‘Yes, definitely and I know we’ll be great parents.’ And my friend replied ‘ well you will have them. One way or another you will work it out and make it possible.’ After another 6 months of charting my cycle and ovulation I decided that I was just going to not think about it anymore and just let it happen when it happens. Mind you since going off the pill my period was very irregular so it was hard to know exactly when I was ovulating. Kyle and I went on a holiday and even had a conversation about IVF, adopting etc. we even decided that if we couldn’t have kids we were going to sign up for the navy together- haha! I think deep down I knew that there were certain stresses in my life that were affecting my cycle and being able to conceive… I needed to work less, sleep more, stop worrying about money and do more for me.

I decided I would begin restorative yoga as heard this helped for fertility plus thought it would be great for me to just relax, switch off and do something more gentle on the body. I was so nervous during my first session and by the end of the class I realised how badly I needed to do more of it. I found it so hard to fully relax and switch off. I mean, I’d done heaps of yoga in the past but it was a much faster pace, with lots of asanas (poses) and strength. I’m that type of person who finds any form of exercise very easy and enjoyable- but restorative yoga was a challenge so i knew my mind and body needed more of it. And so from that moment on I decided I needed less running, weights, cardio and more restorative-type exercise (yoga, walking, meditation)… it was fucking hard. I didn’t love it at first as it frustrated me but I grew to love it and respect my body more and understand my mind and body more. My teacher advised I try acupuncture as well.

So i started acupuncture… this was more for the sleeping and relaxation at first but then I discovered how beneficial it is for fertility. My acupuncturist did a saliva test which showed my hormones were all over the place (just shows your regular blood test isn’t as accurate which is why it didn’t show any of this). My acupuncturist told me to wait 3 months until trying for a baby again so she could get my body in the best state possible to fall pregnant successful. First i noticed my sleep improved, then I my periods and cycle’s were more regular and I felt so much more relaxed and in tune with my body. I’ve always been well body aware but more on at a physical level. Acupuncture and restorative practices gave me a deeper level of body awareness… physically, mentally and emotionally. I also believe that my treatments with my therapists were successful as I believed in what they were doing, I was comfortable with them and put all my trust in their experience and knowledge so I did as they advised me.

Just over 3 months of Acupuncture and my therapist told me my body is ready to conceive. I then did a juice cleanse (just cause I wanted to before christmas and it was the in thing at that time) and did a little more self discovering at a weekend Yoga Retreat with the amazing Darci. I was feeling amazing and wasn’t really thinking about the whole pregnancy thing as was so lost in how I was feeling (which was amazing- relaxed, content, centered, healthy) and how much I had learnt about myself.  It was December 2013 and I had an awesome Christmas Season with all my family and friends, partying, drinking, late nights, eating great food, working little. January came and I did not get a period. OMG… I really thought this is it. My acupuncturist was right I am pregnant. In excitement I did a pregnancy test… it came back negative. Over the next 3 weeks I did another 2 tests… still NEGATIVE. It was early February and still no period and I was so sure I felt different. I did another test… and got a POSITIVE result! I went to the doctors and I was 7 weeks pregnant! I felt like I was on a cloud. I actually didn’t tell Kyle until my doctor told me I was 100% pregnant as it had been such an emotional journey for us I needed to be sure before me knew. I actually gave him a wrapped box with the positive pregnancy tests inside… He cried! We cried! Shit… we were so excited and filled with so much love and joy. I would have never of thought that my Fertility journey would inspire me to write a book about Natural Preparations for Fertility. And so my pregnancy journey began…

Stay tuned for my Pregnancy story next week…

In Health & Happiness,

Tenille

P.S. If you are interested (or know of someone who would benefit) I have written a book on Natural Preparations for Fertility & Pregnancy… https://awomanswellness.com/product/fertilityebook/

Letting go of Fear & Stress for Pregnancy

Letting go of Fear & Stress for Pregnancy

, , , , , ,

We all suffer from stages and days of stress. It’s part of the world we live in and how we live our lives. However, becoming aware of how and when we are stressed and then knowing how to deal with the stress to bring our minds and bodies back to a calm and equalized state is an important skill to withhold.

If we are in the ‘fight, flight or freeze’ response during pregnancy and Labor we have adrenaline running through our system instead of endorphins and oxytocin- the main contributors to a calm, uncomplicated and possible pain free birth.

We have all faced something major in our lives that has the feelings of fear attached to it, and this is then built in to a very stressful situation… Just to name a few situations…

  • pregnancy and labour
  • a job interview
  • getting married
  • trying to fall pregnant
  • changing jobs
  • moving or building a house
  • needing to leave a relationship

So first let’s look at the word ‘Fear’… Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. The fear response arises from the perception of danger leading to confrontation with or escape from/avoiding the threat (also known as the fight-or-flight response), which in extreme cases of fear (horror and terror) can be a freeze response or paralysis.

Now let’s look at ‘Stress’… Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When you sense danger—whether it’s real or imagined—the body’s defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.

So as you can see they are a lot a like but now let’s look at how being in this state of mind can affect our pregnancy and birth (labour)…

  • Not allowing ourselves the chance to be in-tune with our bodies and growing babies.
  • Can effect the growth of your child physically, mentally and emotionally, which can also have long term effects.
  • Creates a more challenging environment for you and your partner and family.
  • Causes an increase in blood pressure which may lead to other interventions for an early labour.
  • Causing distress to the unborn baby and mother.
  • Blood flow to the uterus decreases and therefore surges can be more painful.
  • Causing surges to stop, slow, to have erratic pattern, and lengthen the labor.
  • Creating a sense of panic and increasing pain for the mother.
  • Emotions of fear, anxiety, helplessness and out of control.
  • Leading providers to respond to theses problems with caesareans and other interventions.

What steps can be taken to become aware of our fear and stress and help let it go and Relax?

  • During your pregnancy you can practice, breathing techniques, yoga, sound, meditation and restorative Yoga to help prepare and build strength for calm, pain free labor and birth.
  • These practices all work on placing the Parasympathetic nervous system (PNS)- the relaxation response.
  • You are building oxytocin and endorphins so that when labor arrives you have a store, plus the huge influx that can come with labor too.
  • Make sure you are comfortable in your environment and with the people who are helping you through your labor. Stay within and connected to your breath.

Life is stressful… its only natural. But how much stress is created and how we manage our stress will depend on how much fear you create. And sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the amount of fear a situation is creating that we don’t realise we are creating it, other than it becoming more stressful. So how do we ‘overcome this fear and stress’? How do we ‘let it go‘? First, we must ‘regonise it‘. Second, ‘write it down‘, recognise the fear you have created and how you are going to overcome it… Below is a great tool (chart) that can be used to help regonise fear, overcome it and therefore create less stress…

Thoughts/ Belief to Release Belief type New Belief/ How to Overcome it

 

Example:

Thought/Belief– tearing of perineum and abdominals.

Belief type – Fear, no control.

New Belief – Practice the tools and exercises I have been given, so I can soften and open these areas (Yoga, Perineum massage, breathing the baby out, no abdominal exercises).

If you are interested I run a ‘Balance Birthing Workshop’ which includes Pregnancy Support and Labour Preparations. Check out the following link https://awomanswellness.com/balanced-birthing-workshop/

 

In Health & Happiness.

Tenille

Call Now Button